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May 20, 2011
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Chapter 7 – The Family Business

MOONSIDE


Pumpkin was waiting for Twilight anxiously when she climbed out of the burrow, struggling beneath the weight of the homemade saddlebag.  When the purple unicorn was finally out of the earth, the filly began jumping, impatient and ready to move.

"Hold your horses," muttered Twilight.  "I told you I would take you home.  Leaping around like this isn't going to make it happen any faster."

Pumpkin dug her hooves into the earth in irritation.  "I know," she groaned.  "But we're finally getting a move on, and even then you're slow."

Pumpkin had been ready to leave not long after Twilight had met Fluttershy, but Twilight had refused to let Pumpkin go off into the Everfree Forest on her own.  Fortunately, Fluttershy had somehow managed to get Pumpkin to stay, as Twilight would have been unable to force the issue herself.

"I mean, my mum's probably scared to death," said Pumpkin.  "You made me stay a whole day.  A whole day!  What if she thinks I've been eaten by a manaco or something?"

The thought of Pumpkin's poor mother hadn't really occurred to Twilight.  "I'll explain everything to her, I promise," said Twilight.  "And you're lucky.  Fluttershy really wanted me to rest for two days before I left.  I managed to convince her I'd be fine with one."

Fluttershy.  Something was very wrong with her.  That much was apparent, even for somepony who didn't know her.  But after their first encounter, during their second conversation, Twilight realized just how bad her condition was.


"I'm really sorry to bring this up again," Twilight had said when she and Fluttershy were alone in the burrow.  "But how long have your wings been, you know?"  She didn't want to finish, but what she had said should have been clear enough.

"It's fine," was Fluttershy's reply.  "It doesn't bother me that much anymore.  They don't hurt.  But they've been like that as long as I can remember, as long as I've been living here, perhaps."

Something about Fluttershy's behavior had unsettled Twilight.  The pegasus seemed nervous around her, even though they were good friends.  Twilight slowly realized that Fluttershy had never referred to her by name.

"Fluttershy," she had asked, scared of the answer.  "Do you know who I am?"

The silence that followed told Twilight everything she needed.  Fluttershy didn't remember her.  From the conversation that followed, it became clear that she didn't remember Pinkie Pie either.  Or Applejack.  It was as if all of her memories had been wiped clean, and none of their adventures together had ever happened.


Now, as Twilight and Pumpkin began their journey through the woods, Fluttershy's health was the only thing on Twilight's mind.  "We need to get a doctor out here," she told Pumpkin.  "First thing when we get back to Ponyville."

"Why don't you ask Fluttershy?" asked Pumpkin.  "She patched you up nice enough."

"I mean, a doctor for Fluttershy," explained Twilight.  "She doesn't remember who I am.  There's something in her head, like some kind of mad horse disease, and whatever it is that's got her acting like this is making her not remember things she really should know."

"Oh," said Pumpkin, and both ponies stopped talking.

The only way Twilight could measure time was by evaluating her energy.  Each step made her a little more exhausted.

After a while, Pumpkin broke the silence.  "Are you sure we're going the right way?" she asked.

"Of course," said Twilight.  "Fluttershy showed me which way to go.  Why, don't you trust Fluttershy?"

"Not really," said Pumpkin, and Twilight realized that she might agree with the filly's decision.

"Why can't you use your adventurer skills to get out of here?  Retracing your steps, maybe?" Twilight asked Pumpkin, recalling their first meeting.

"'Cuz," said Pumpkin.  "Adventures are always going into jungles, to find treasure and stuff like that.  You never see an adventurer leaving a jungle, do you?"  She looked up at Twilight, who was straining under the weight of the saddlebag.  "You positive you don't want any help with that?" she asked.

"Nope," said Twilight, determined.  "A good part of it is food, anyway.  I just don't think Fluttershy wanted us to be completely unprepared.

"I helped," said Pumpkin, who was now on Twilight's back and eating salad out of the bag.  Twilight glanced over to where the filly had been standing a moment ago, wondering how she could have possibly moved so quickly.

Pumpkin sprung off of Twilight's back, and the saddlebag felt noticeably lighter.  She begin jumping in circles around Twilight.

"Did you eat all of that?" Twilight asked the filly.

Pumpkin nodded.  "All gone."

"Well then, you'd better slow down, or else you're going to get a stomachache, or you'll get all worn out," warned Twilight.



Pumpkin was still bouncing when Twilight collapsed, all of her energy gone.

"Trixie," moaned Pumpkin, prodding her, and Twilight mentally berated herself for not coming up with a more bearable name to use.  "Trixie, we're almost there."

"I don't care," said Twilight, who had found the dirt road surprisingly comfortable.  Then the words registered.  "Really?" she asked, trying to lift her head.  The trees had gotten noticeably thinner since they had started, but Twilight hadn't been willing to get her hopes up.  "How do you know?" she asked.

"Easy.  I can see the light."

Twilight looked around.  "Lights?" she said.  "Where?"

Pumpkin looked at Twilight sternly.  "Now you're just foaling with me," she said.  "I don't like bein' foaled.  Up there, in the sky."

Twilight looked up and saw it.  A single bright light hovering above Ponyville.  She might have thought it was a star, but it was far too bright.  Nothing else in the sky came close to matching it.  Then, to her amazement, the light moved.  It swung sharply downward beneath the canopy before rising up again, somewhat to the right.

"What is it?" asked Twilight, transfixed.

Pumpkin rolled her eyes.  "It's the Ponyville light.  Honestly 'tain't nothing too special.  You've never seen it before, though?  What are ya, nocturnal?"

"Nocturnal?" echoed Twilight.

"Yeah.  The light only comes out during the day.  It's like the sun, but smaller."

Twilight was still confused.  "This is daytime?" she asked.  If they were really close to the edge of the forest, the lighting shouldn't still be pitch-black.

"Duh.  'Cuz of the light.  That's how you tell the night from day."

It took Twilight a few seconds to realize that Pumpkin was probably playing some kind of prank on her.  The filly must have seen the light and decided to have fun with it.  "Well, you got me," said Twilight, and Pumpkin stared at her, not comprehending.  "Maybe we should just take you back to your mom now," she added, trying to give Pumpkin a chance to move past the joke without any embarrassment.



Ten minutes of trotting later, a very familiar building came into view on the very fringe of Ponyville.

"This is where you live?" asked Twilight, shocked.

Pumpkin smiled, proud to be home.  "Yup!" she said.  "Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres."

The barn stood majestically in front of the sprawling fields; there was no mistaking the farm.  Yet something put Twilight on edge, something that she couldn't place.  Actually, Twilight mused, that feeling, that familiarity overlaying a sense of the bizarre, was beginning to become a recurring theme in Twilight's struggles.  She felt like there was always something in the corner of her eye, something just beyond her comprehension, and it created a sense of dread, a pit in the bottom of her stomach.

"You live here?" said Twilight, trying desperately to fit together the pieces of the puzzle.

Pumpkin stared at her again.  "That's what I said."

"But I've never seen you here before."

"And I've never seen you before, period," said Pumpkin.  "What's your point?"

"I thought only Applejack lived here, with Granny Smith and Big Macintosh," said Twilight.

Pumpkin shrugged.  "Beats me," she said.  "There were lots of ponies living on the farm when Gramps and Mum and Dad moved on."  She began sprinting down the road toward the large entrance gate without checking to see if Twilight was following her.

Twilight followed slowly, her face furrowed into a frown and her eyes looking at the ground.  She wondered how long she had been gone.  Was Pumpkin some relative of Applejack's?

As Twilight examined her surroundings, the differences began to compound.  Pumpkin was right; there were many ponies on the farm.  Twilight saw mostly glimpses of them, through windows or in the distance, but she could easily count past the four residents of the farm she knew.  The fourth was Apple Bloom, whom Twilight had accidentally skipped over in her confusion.  Some of the buildings seemed old worn down, including a shed that Twilight remembered had been rebuilt a couple months ago; she had helped.

Twilight tried to figure out why there were so many other ponies working, and according to Pumpkin, living on the farm.  The Summer Sun celebration was still a few months away.  Was it apple harvesting season?  Twilight couldn't remember, so she looked out into the apple orchard and realized what had looked so wrong with the orchard: a distinct lack of trees.

There were some apple trees; the fields weren't completely barren.  Yet large swaths of grass littered the farm, and some sections were growing other plants, like potatoes and pumpkins.

Twilight could only think of one explanation for the sudden changes.  A lot of time must have passed since the last time she had seen the farm.  She reached up and touched the bandages on her face.  Maybe the injuries and concussion had caused some memory loss.  That would explain why everything seemed so disjointed, why the day Twilight had gone into the forest with Rainbow Dash seemed so distant.  The distorted memories could be her mind trying to repair itself.  Twilight wasn't a neurologist,  but she decided that this was a possible explanation, and seeing as she couldn't think of a better one, Occam's Razor said it was probably correct.

She needed a calendar.  She was about to try and catch up to Pumpkin to ask her the date when a shrill voice calling Pumpkin's name interrupted her thoughts and made both ponies freeze.  Pumpkin turned and leaped even higher than normal when she saw who was speaking to them.

"Rarity!" she cried, and she dashed between Twilight's legs and out of sight.  Twilight tried to track Pumpkin as the filly moved but only ended up viewing the now upside-down world between her forelegs.

A white earth pony wearing a Stetson looked at Twilight briefly in confusion before turning her attention to the bouncing filly.  She bit down on Pumpkin's ear, holding her in place.  "Settle down, now," she instructed between clenched teeth.  Pumpkin's leaps became smaller until she was vibrating slowly on the ground.  The white pony let go and promptly spit onto the ground.  "Better," she said.  "But you taste terrible.  What have you been up to?  Your mother is worried sick."  Before Pumpkin could answer, the white pony looked back at Twilight.  "And who's the mare who looks like she lost a fight to an owl-bear?"

Twilight self-consciously rubbed the bandage, wishing she would stop being reminded of it.  "Rarity?" she said quietly, trying to wrap her head around this new piece of information.

Rarity sighed.  "Go take a bath," she told Pumpkin.  "I'll let your kin know you're safe."  She swatted Pumpkin on the rump with her tail, and Pumpkin took off toward the house.  "You.  With me," Rarity ordered Twilight, and she complied.  "What's your name?" Rarity asked, once the gap had been closed.

The voice did sound like Rarity's, thought Twilight.  It wasn't something that she would have figured out purely by listening, but since she knew it was supposed to be Rarity, she could see the resemblance.  Rather, it sounded like a hybrid between Rarity's normal voice and Applejack's, like a cowpony that chose her words carefully.  She had both Rarity's elegance and Applejack's softness and honesty.  "Rarity?" Twilight repeated, not knowing what else to do.

Rarity shook her head.  "No, that's me.  I'm asking who you are."

Yet the pony standing before her looking intimidating couldn't be Rarity, thought Twilight.  She couldn't see the cutie mark from this angle, but this "Rarity" didn't have a horn.  Then Twilight remembered Fluttershy, her wings broken off, the stubs standing out at an angle, and Twilight almost threw up again.  She forced herself to look up at Rarity, the other pony's blue eyes examining her suspiciously.  The dream of Rarity selling apples returned, and Twilight tried to remember if the dream-Rarity had a horn.

"You," began Twilight, "Your, you don't, I mean, what happened to your..."  Unable to get the words across, she began frantically gesturing to the horn on her own forehead.

Rarity rolled her eyes, annoyed by their newest guest.  "You mean this?" she asked, pushing up the brim on her Stetson, revealing the horn underneath.

Twilight breathed a giant sigh of relief.  "Thank Celestia," she breathed.

Rarity eyed Twilight no longer with suspicion but with confusion and concern.  "Are you all right?" she asked.  "You're the first pony that's asked to see my horn before."  Realizing what she had just said, her face flushed with embarrassment.  "There were probably a dozen better ways to word that," she muttered.  Desperate to move on, she asked Twilight, "Would you like to come inside for a moment?  Those bandages look atrocious.  We should change them out, and you look like you could use something to eat."

Twilight nodded eagerly, thankful for Rarity's generosity.  She still had many questions running through her, and one of them was more important than the rest.  Based on Rarity's behavior, however, Twilight was afraid that she already knew the answer.

Do you recognize me?



Five minutes later, Twilight was sitting at a small circular table across from Rarity, sipping some cold apple cider.  They were in a back room of the main building, a room the farm had decided to use as a combined food storage and tool shed.

"So," said Rarity, leaning forward.  "Who did you say you were again?"

Twilight felt crushed.  Rarity didn't remember who she was either.  She answered honestly, not wanting to hide anything from her friend, even if the friend didn't know her.

"Twilight Sparkle," repeated Rarity slowly, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.  "Well, I guess that explains quite a bit.  Except what you were doing with Pumpkin."

"I found her in the forest.  I wasn't going to eat her soul or anything!" exclaimed Twilight, getting defensive.  To her surprise, Rarity began laughing.  Twilight sat still dumbfounded.

"Darling," laughed Rarity, "you hardly seem like the type to eat anypony's soul.  Even if that were possible."

"But Pumpkin said..." muttered Twilight, trailing off.

"I've been trying to figure you out, Twilight," continued Rarity.  "Who you are, that sort of thing.  It's easy to figure out what you're not.  For example, I know you don't eat souls.  But you're clueless enough to listen to a little filly on matters you should already be well-aware of.  Namely, yourself.  Be honest with me, Twilight.  What are you doing here?"

Twilight finished the cider.  She leaned in to match Rarity.  "I think that there's something wrong with me," she confessed.

Rarity started laughing again.  "Oh, I doubt there's any argument against that," she said.   Noticing Twilight's empty cup, she added, "Sorry, darling.  I wish I could give you more, but everything here's strictly rationed.  They can't notice anything's gone missing."

"Rationed?"  The word surprised Twilight.  "But this is the Sweet Apple Acres.  Half the food in Ponyville comes out of here."

Rarity sighed again, and her face once again showed worry.  "That may have been true, before the Darkness.  Now it's all we can do to get enough to eat."

"The Darkness?" asked Twilight, who hadn't heard anything after that.

Rarity raised an eyebrow.  "You really are behind the times, aren't you, Darling?  Look outside.  It's the middle of the day, if you still believe in differentiating them.  The sun doesn't rise anymore.  It hasn't, not since the Summer Sun Celebration two years ago.  And food doesn't grow without sunlight.  The whole extended Apple family's moved here to work together, to make what we can, even if it's barely enough to get through.  We've got the Apples, the Melons, and the Pumpkins, all under one roof."

Twilight stopped breathing.  "That's impossible," she said.  "We stopped it.  We did.  Both of us.  Together."

Rarity shook her head and looked at Twilight sadly.  "I don't know what you're going on about, Twilight.  I'd remember something like that, I think.  And the two of us have never been acquainted before today."

Something Rarity had said before began to bother Twilight, and she figured now would be a good time to ask.  "Which one are you?" she asked.

Rarity didn't understand.  "Excuse me?" she said.

"The Apples, the Melons, and the Pumpkins.  Which one are you?"

"Oh, I'm nothing yet," said Rarity, and a small mischievous smile spread across her lips.  "I just work here.  And I've started living here too.  I'm not a blood relative, but I'm still part of the big family.  At least, they treat me like I am, and I like it that way."  She picked up Twilight's plate and carried it to a sink.  "Now, let's get those bandages replaced."



That evening, Rarity was sitting in a rocking chair behind the house, watching Apple Bloom and Scootaloo tussle on the ground over a ball.  The game was a sport of Apple Bloom's creation, and she would often force the other fillies on the farm to play it with her when she wasn't trying to find her special talent with her friends.

Rarity watched as Apple Bloom gained control of the ball and bucked it toward Pumpkin, who shot it past Sweetie Belle and into the goal.  What she wouldn't give to be that young again, without a care, not understanding the hardships she would have to endure to make a living.

Today had been a relatively lax day, but tomorrow she would have to start uprooting some of the potato plants to see which ones had become infected with a rather nasty worm.  It would be a lot of hard work, and Rarity figured she could manage.  She wasn't averse to labor like she had been as a filly, and it paid well.  She could feel the muscles in her chest and couldn't imagine what it would be like to live without them.  She also couldn't forget the numerous lessons discipline had taught her.  She recited the Wayfarer's Creed silently to herself.

Never do by horn what can be done by hoof.  Patience, endurance, and the value of work can't be taught with magic.

It had taken Rarity far too long to realize this, and so she had made the promise with herself.  Nopony else was enforcing it but her; maybe that's why she found it so compelling.  If she broke it, it would become meaningless, and she had lived by it far too long to risk sacrificing its meaning.

After she had changed Twilight's bandages, it had become apparent that the purple unicorn still hadn't recovered enough to be out of bed.  She was easily fatigued and had trouble maintaining focus during the procedure, and so she gave up her bed to Twilight.  After all, it wasn't like she used it that much now.

Pumpkin's mother had approached her soon afterward, anxious to meet the stranger that had rescued her daughter.  That would have to happen tomorrow too.

Who was Twilight Sparkle?  Rarity had heard the legends; so had every pony, but she'd never given them much credit.   The real Twilight had turned out to be a confused, disoriented mess, and Rarity had taken pity on her.  She only hoped the rest of the farm would react the same way when they learned who their new guest was.

Pumpkin bucked the ball again, and this time it went over goalpost, hitting Granny Smith, who nearly toppled over backward.  Rarity called out the filly's name, scolding her before going to check that the older mare was unhurt.

"Pumpkin Alyssa Pie!"
Chapter 7 - The Family Business

I'm honestly surprised nopony guessed it.

Also, I'm not really happy with this chapter either, but I'm not trying to craft a masterpiece. I'm not going painstakingly over every word.

Because this is fanfiction, and I've already sunk so many hours of my life using intellectual property that doesn't belong to me. I'm just trying to entertain.

Once again, a thank you goes out to my now two proofreaders, :iconelegantfox: and :icontornado5000170:. You guys are great.

Twilight tries to gain her bearings, and runs into another familiar face in the process. A light in the sky points the way home.

Previous Chapter: [link]

Next Chapter: [link]

Chapter List: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconripplebound:
Ripplebound Featured By Owner May 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I knew Pumpkin and Pinkie were related the moment Pumpkin started bouncing all over the place :meow:
Reply
:iconkurseofkings:
KurseofKings Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012
So, what's Moonside Rarity's cutie mark? (If we find out the anwser later, just say so.)
Reply
:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012
The reason I didn't reveal Rarity's cutie mark was because I had a lot of trouble figuring out what it should be. We'll see it soon.
Reply
:iconclockwisegear:
ClockwiseGear Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Why do you keep beating up on yourself? This fic is a great read!
Reply
:iconmagicaitrevor:
MagicaITrevor Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
...... :iconskyeheaddeskplz: I'm not confused anymore... Sorry for being stupid... (Haven't been getting any rest lately, and my brain is kinda fuzzy...)
It's MUCH easier for me to understand, for whatever reason now. *Keeps reading*
Reply
:iconkingdor65:
KingDor65 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011
Reads fic
Sees that last line
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
Reply
:iconziblink:
Ziblink Featured By Owner May 26, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
This is developing into something a lot more layered and compelling than the usual 'everyone is the same but living in dark equestria' plot. I congratulate you sir.
Reply
:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 26, 2011
Thank you. And I assure you, there are still a couple more layers to come, more pieces of the puzzle.

We must go deeper.
Reply
:icondwreanpony:
dwreanpony Featured By Owner May 23, 2011
if applejack is fussy over every little detail im going to lol
Reply
:iconthe-letter-j:
The-Letter-J Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
I've always thought that Pinkie Pie could be distantly related to Applejack. After all, she grew up on a farm and her last name is Pie. There could have been an ancestor named Apple Pie at some point.


There are two things that kinda bug me though.
First, is Pumpkin supposed to be part of the Pumpkin family? If so, wouldn't that be like Applejack having a sister named Apple? Not inconceivable, but a bit odd.
And second, you said that Fluttershy didn't recognize Pinkie Pie or Applejack. What about Rarity and Rainbow Dash?
Reply
:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
Applejack does have a sister named Apple. Apple Bloom.

It's been shown that name inheritance doesn't always work the same way it does in real life. (But sometimes it does, as with Mr. and Mrs. Cake.) Of course, maybe Applejack has a last name and we just don't know it, but until they say it, I'm assuming Applejack is her full name.

I guess I'm assuming there are no hard and fast rules for naming in Equestria. A child's name will include at least part of one of the parents, if not both. The mother can change her name, but doesn't have to, as it would probably be even more confusing in a world filled with one-name people. Maybe she just appends the father's family name, making Pinkie Pie "Pinkamena Diane Pie Custard", if say, the father was Pumpkin Custard.

Actually, I kind of like that last one.

The point is, Pumpkin took the first half of her name from her father, and the last half of her name from her mother. Unconventional, but again, no hard and fast rules here. Not sure where the Alyssa part came from. But she's Pumpkin Pie.

Can I admit that there wasn't actually much rationale, and I just really wanted a reason to name a character "Pumpkin Pie"?

And secondly, Twilight didn't ask about Rarity or Rainbow Dash. She just assumed that if Fluttershy didn't recognize her, Applejack, or Pinkie Pie, she wouldn't recognize the others either. Which is of course a very foalish assumption to make, seeing how Fluttershy knew Rainbow Dash before she met all the rest of them.
Reply
:iconthe-letter-j:
The-Letter-J Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
That's not what I meant and you know it. No one calls Apple Bloom "Apple" anyway. (Do they? I'm pretty sure they don't. I may have to check later.)

As far as I can tell, there don't seem to be last names so to speak, or any real naming conventions. Some families obviously do give their kids names similar to their own (the Apple family, the Pie family (as far as we can tell)), but others don't seem to (unless there's some way Rarity and Sweetie Belle are similar that I can't think of).

Because there don't seem to be last names in Equestria, I imagine that ponies would formally identify themselves as something like "Twilight Sparkle, daughter of [Twilight's parents names go here]" or "Applejack of the Apple Family." Or seeing what Applejack's extended family looks like, perhaps "Applejack of the Apple Family of the Produce Clan."

And I suppose I can accept that Pumpkin is Pumpkin Pie's nickname, though I still think that it is a bit odd.


As for the other point, it's very foalish indeed. Though I would have thought that, out of desperation if nothing else, she would have listed all of their friends. Maybe even the CMC and some other residents of Ponyville (surely she'd know Derpy. Everyone knows Derpy! XD). And now I'm sure that Twilight's not asking about them will be important later on, which I can understand for Rainbow Dash, but less so for Rarity. This could be interesting.


And one last question (for now hehehe). Is there some backstory between Angel and Chestnut? And if so, will we find out about it? (yeah, this question should go back in chapter 4, but since we're already talking...)
Reply
:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
These are good points.

Really, I guess the characters are passing around an Idiot Ball in order to get the plot to work. (Which is really bad writing practice, I know.) It's a serious of coincidences that Pumpkin didn't tell Twilight her full name, that Twilight didn't ask the right questions to Fluttershy. (Because in this world, Fluttershy would know Rainbow Dash, but not Derpy.)

That's right. Alternate Derpy is going to make an appearance. So are a couple of other minor characters.

As for the one last question, I don't know Chestnut's backstory. I haven't figured it out yet, and I don't know if it will ever come up. I suppose you could ask him, but unless you have Fluttershy with you to translate from Squirrel, you wouldn't be able to understand him.

On a related note, ChestnutxAngel OTP.
Reply
:iconthe-letter-j:
The-Letter-J Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
Oh, the infamous idiot ball. I've kind of come to accept it and it's moved from something I hate to a mild nuisance. Which is a bit sad, I suppose.
Although I think it is perfectly acceptable for Pumpkin to give Twilight the name she goes by instead of her full name. And even if Pumpkin had given Twilight her full name, I would understand if Twilight didn't make the connection. I would really only expect her to make the connection if she knows that Pinkie's entire family has Pie names (and as far as we know she's only heard of Granny Pie) or if she happened to be thinking about Pinkie at the time and just asked as a shot in the dark.
Actually, now that I think about it, I am a bit surprised that Twilight didn't ask Pumpkin if she knew any of the CMC or who her parents are, since she knew Pumpkin lives in Ponyville, right? Then again, I guess she was too busy trying to figure things out to worry about small talk, and there don't seem to be too many parents around anyway :)

I am now looking forward to Alternate Derpy.
And I am now imagining Alternate Vinyl Scratch as starving musician in Manehattan, playing guitar by the side of the road, living off of whatever money kind ponies throw into her open case. Somehow, it's both an incredibly depressing and funny image.

Once you finish this story, I wouldn't mind a spin-off story about Chestnut and Angel.
Reply
:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
@ChestnutxAngel: Well, I have been looking for an excuse to try my hand at clopfiction...
Reply
:iconthe-letter-j:
The-Letter-J Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
Gay squirrel-rabbit clopfiction? I take back what I said earlier, I think I would mind that.
If I wanted to emotionally scar myself by reading MLP fanfics, I would just read "Cupcakes." ;P
Reply
:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
Relax. I was kidding.

Mostly.

And I don't see Cupcakes as scarring as much as it is just disturbing. Slender Mane is where it's at, yo. Maybe I'm just a wimp, but I always have trouble sleeping after Slender Man stories.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconk9-the-first:
K9-The-First Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
O_O! What?!

She's Pinkie Pie's daughter?!

:iconshockplz:

Believe me when I say that the thought never crossed my mind! Well done on hiding that particular bombshell. Though to be honest I had half-expected Pumpkin to be Rarity's.
Reply
:icontyrantboy:
Tyrantboy Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
the plot thickens...
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:iconsodomitor:
sodomitor Featured By Owner May 21, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I'm addicted to this. You are cliffhanger master.
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:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
Thank you so much.

Perhaps switching perspectives every other chapter is a bit cruel.
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:iconasalis:
Asalis Featured By Owner May 21, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I knew it! knew Pumpkin had to be related to her.
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:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
I didn't want to make it too obvious, but I was still pretty sure some people would figure it out. It's hard for me to gauge that sort of thing when I already know all the twists.

But yeah. Pumpkin Pie.
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:iconasalis:
Asalis Featured By Owner May 22, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
you haven't updated it yet on equestria daily yet I noticed.
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:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
I don't want to spam the site. Poor Sethisto and Cereal Velocity get enough fanfiction as it is. Especially since my chapters are smaller than the chapters of other fictions, having Seth post an update for every five pages seems a little selfish.

My plan is to update it on ED about every other chapter, possibly planning it around bigger twists or cliffhangers.
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:iconitena:
itena Featured By Owner May 20, 2011
FFFFFFFFFF--- Why do you always leave me wanting moar? Stop making me addicted to fanfiction!
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:iconfreedomandchaos:
FreedomAndChaos Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
"And then they all went home and clopped."

There. Story's over. No more addiction. You can stop reading now.

No need to thank me.
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